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Do you ever meet someone and just love them?

Some days the world seems so dark and everything seems… distorted and ugly. But then I thought of Jimmy, the neighbor across the yard who plays with all the neighbor kids, pushing them in the shopping cart from… where was that from? He’s always wearing shorts and a tank top. I can’t make out much of what he says but I don’t need to because who he is speaks more volumes than my life ever will.

So I think of Jimmy, and the world seems a little brighter.

I was talking to this guy I know a little about religion and faith.

He said that he thinks maybe it’s more important to keep the faith…

yet he’s an atheist.

I made an appointment with a different psychiatrist who I have heard good things about. I’m really happy about that…

My dad gave me copies of this paper tracing some of our family all the way back to the 1600’s. It’s interesting to see what my ancestors did…

My old roommate (and one of my very best friends) was asking me about the music situation. She brought up an interesting thought.. which is that a couple of years ago after I took a trip across the country I was really contemplating dropping out of school to just live and play some music. I didn’t end up doing it… but she mentioned how it’s funny that sort of happened anyway.

Man.. I don’t understand why I’m always so wound up at this time of the day…

Song of the day: At the Hop by Devendra Bahnhart.

but the whole sky fell.

Music music music. I had a show with the band on Thursday and Friday, my own show on Saturday, and Sunday recorded all day.

Had a rough couple of weeks with my boyfriend… but I definitely think it’s okay now.

I’ve just been trying to figure out too many things that aren’t necessarily meant to be understood.

I have a slight case of insomnia… started when we increased my effexor to the highest dosage. It seems to be helping but many nights I don’t fall asleep until 4 or 5 or later in the morning. Saw the doctor this past week and he gave me Ambien. I was a little frustrated but at the same time…

And lately at certain times I felt semi-numb… like I could still feel the pain but also felt sort of…. “off.”  You could even say I’ve felt lonely lately but that probably has a lot to do with my hermit-like tendencies….

My old roommates just moved out of the apartment we lived in for 3 years .I went down there last Saturday to help clean. Even if it all hadn’t happened like this it still would have been hard moving everything out of there. I had a lot of good times there… and as I walked around the apartment, I couldn’t help but recall some of the funny memories or things that took place there. I miss them a lot.

But..life continues.

Lately I’ve been realizing how often I worry or think about how I don’t want to end up like my parents… I think about how I could avoid it…

Lots of interesting stuff lately… will write more later.

PS: this post really reflects how my mind has been working lately… just so scattered and…

PPS: I almost forgot the song of the day.. (or post, whatever.) Anyway, the song is The Stable Song by Gregory Alan Isakov. It’s where I got the words to the title and first sentence of my post.